All Hope Was Lost Until Jesus

All Hope Was Lost Until Jesus

When Hadis was 2 years old, her parents divorced over her father’s drug addiction. When her dad remarried another addict, life went from bad to what Hadis described as “darker day by day.”

Then, after two suicide attempts, Hadis discovered that her dad had become a Christian and that the same woman who had led him to Christ wanted to talk to her. Here is her story, in her words:

“My stepmother was secretly using drugs and was not mentally balanced. She was jealous, and did her best to ruin our relationship. Ultimately, she succeeded in breaking the bond between me and my father with gossip and lies, so our relationship got darker day by day.

Most of the time, my father and stepmother would beat me up. It had reached a point where I was not even allowed to talk.

We moved to a new house when I was in year 8 in high school—a house that turned into hell for me. My stepmother constantly harassed me, with my father’s support. They discredited me in front of my teachers and classmates, which made my classmates treat me badly. I couldn’t concentrate on my lessons. I lost all hope.

My stepmother’s hatred toward me continued until my father me kicked me out of the house. He said,” I do not want to see you again!” What an unbelievable moment! I heard my heart breaking. I felt lonely, isolated, useless and unwanted.

After a while, I went back home again. My stepmother was pregnant with a baby girl. Soon, there were three of them—my father, stepmother, and a stepsister, happily ever after—and I was a burden. I felt isolated. Although I was always looking for God somewhere, with all the pain and unkindness, I didn’t even know if He existed. In spite of my pain, I would still pray.

They kept beating me. Most nights, I slept on the cold floor with blood and bruises on my head and face. Lying on the cold floor, I would talk to God, who I did not know, and say, “Come and help me!” But I had no faith in my prayer.

Frantically, I tried to commit suicide twice. The bitter point was that no one knew that I had tried to kill myself.

My dad and his wife argued because of her addiction, and she left. But my father condemned me for telling him about his wife’s addiction! I was devastated. I complained angrily, “I don’t believe in God and life is worthless!” So, I took four packs of mental illness tablets and a few packs of heart tablets. I was seriously ready to die.

Unconscious, I saw myself running away from my father and reaching a long tunnel with light. At the end of the tunnel, I saw my only friend advising me to return back to life. As soon as I opened my eyes, I realized I was in the hospital, alive. But my father did not even stay with me overnight, as if he wanted me to die alone.

After two days, I went home. But our home had turned into a swamp that swallowed every bit of me, and I drowned deeper in depression. That night, something died inside me. All I could think was that there was no God. He could have stopped all the suffering if He existed.

For a while, I had no news of my father; later on, I heard that he had become a Christian! He sent me a recording of a lady who had given him the good news about Jesus.

The words of God, through that lady, gave me a new perspective on life. The words were pure and fresh. Eventually, I managed to talk to that lady. I met Christ and His strange love, and my eyes became open after talking to her. God was with me through the tears and pains in my life. I was not alone, and He would embrace me!

After giving my heart to Christ, I had many ups and downs. Soon, that suicide spirit came upon me. So, I went into God’s presence and asked Him for one more miracle: to redeem me from the suicide attempts. At that very moment, my whole being was filled with the presence of God. My whole being was immersed in peace, and my faith grew deeper. Knowing that I was not alone anymore gave me strength.

My life is full of challenges, but I am not worried or disappointed. I have Jesus, who gave me life, joy, and happiness. After my dark and painful life, I am delighted that Jesus found me, saved me, and embraced me.”